Ask Marni
The female perspective on dating.
Real answers to the real questions men are afraid to ask.
Every answer here is written by a woman. That is the whole point of it.
Most dating advice for men is written by men guessing at what women think. Marni Kinrys has spent 22 years sitting across from men who could not work out what went wrong, and telling them what the woman on the other side of that date was actually thinking. Not the polite version. The real one.
So when you read why she stopped texting you, or why your friend got the second date and you did not, you are getting it from the only person who can actually answer: someone who has been the woman in that situation, and who coaches the men on the other side of it for a living.
Browse by topic
Attraction
What actually creates attraction — and what kills it.
9 questions →Texting
What to say, when to say it, what to never send.
10 questions →Confidence
Build the confidence women are naturally drawn to.
8 questions →Friend Zone
How you got there and how to get out.
8 questions →Sex
What women actually want in bed.
11 questions →Flirting
Create tension without being cheesy.
6 questions →Approaching Women
Open a conversation without being creepy.
6 questions →Dating Apps
Profiles, openers, matches that go somewhere.
5 questions →Masculinity
Strength without apology or aggression.
5 questions →Older Men
Dating well in your 40s, 50s and beyond.
6 questions →Commitment
Getting from dating to something real.
4 questions →Marriage
Keeping desire alive after the wedding.
4 questions →Divorce
Starting over, and doing it better.
4 questions →All topics
Popular questions
Create sexual tension over text by (1) mixing playful teasing with occasional slightly-suggestive comments, (2) NEVER leading with sexual content, (3) building slowly — hint, don't state, (4)…
How do I keep sex exciting in a long-term relationship?Long-term sex stays exciting when you (1) prioritize it — actually make time and effort, (2) keep pursuing her outside the bedroom — flirt, touch, tease all day,…
What are the daily habits of masculine men?The daily habits of masculine men: (1) wake up early and own the first hour, (2) train the body — lift, move, sweat, (3) cold shower to train…
How do I know if I’m ready to date after divorce?You're ready to date when you (1) can talk about your ex-wife without anger, bitterness, or spiraling, (2) know who YOU are outside of 'husband,' (3) have healed…
How do I know if a woman on a dating app is genuinely interested?She's genuinely interested if: (1) she responds within a reasonable timeframe consistently, (2) her messages match your energy or exceed it, (3) she asks questions back, (4) she…
How do I stop being ‘too available’ to female friends?You're 'too available' if you (1) drop your plans anytime she needs you, (2) respond to her texts immediately every time, (3) are her go-to for rides, moving,…
How do I stop overthinking around women?You stop overthinking by (1) getting OUT of your head and INTO your body — feel your feet, feel your breath, focus on her, (2) reframing every interaction…
How do I know if she’s interested over text?She's interested over text if: (1) she responds within a reasonable time (not always instant, but consistent), (2) her messages are longer than yours or matching length, (3)…
How do I have the ‘what are we’ talk without ruining it?The 'what are we' talk works when you (1) come from a place of strength, not neediness, (2) frame it as YOU knowing what YOU want — not…
Ready to stop guessing?
You've read what women think. Now learn how to become the kind of man women naturally choose.
Apply now