I’m gonna show you 3 simple steps to get a woman attached to you as fast as possible.
If you’re tired of women pulling away, flaking and going cold… Or never showing the level of interest you want them to show… I want you to pay close attention…
Because if you do exactly what I share today… You’re gonna have a massive upper hand with women from this moment on.
And instead of just being another nice guy who never gets the girl he wants… You’ll have the “magic keys” to make women desire you, respect you and feel almost wildly attached to you. Here are the 3 steps to get a woman attached to you.
Step #1: The 80/20 Rule
Before you can get a woman attached or obsessed with you… You need to make her excited to talk to you and get to know you. You need to trigger that attractive “spark” that gets her wanting to spend more time with you.
Unfortunately, most guys mess this part up. Why? Because they treat conversations like a logical exchange of information.
- “What do you do?”
- “Okay, well this is what I do…”
- “Where are you from?”
- “Here’s where I’m from…”
- “What are your hobbies?”
- “Great. This is what I’m into…”.
This type of conversation creates no spark, no excitement. In fact, it just makes a woman bored of you before she even gets to know the real you.
This is why it’s important to follow what I call the 80/20 Rule of Attraction. The 80/20 rule says that in your first meeting with a woman you like…
80% of your conversation should involve being playful, teasing and having fun. And only 20% should be about getting to know each other on a logical level.
In fact, you want to start being playful as EARLY as possible… Before you get locked into a platonic, dull conversation that goes nowhere.
One of the easiest ways to do this is to answer her initial questions in an absurd playful manner. So let’s say you’re talking to a woman and she asks you: “So what do you do?”
Instead of just replying with the literal answer, like, “I’m a software engineer…”
Say something absurd and playful, like: “I’m an astronaut. Just came back from the moon yesterday. Great trip.”
If she asks you, “Where are you from?”
“Heaven. Have you been there? It’s quite lovely.”
She asks, “How old are you?”
You reply, “I’m just over 700 months old.”
You can also make conversations fun by responding playfully to HER answers. So let’s say you ask her, “what do you do for fun?”
She tells you she loves to do yoga. Now instead of being boring and logical like most other guys and saying… “Oh that sounds cool. How did you get into it?”
You could say something like… “That’s cool. Can you levitate and stuff? Or have you not learned that yet?”
Here’s another example. Let’s say she tells you she has two cats. You could be like, “Ugh, I hate cats. I’m team dogs all the way. I guess we can’t be friends…”
See how simple that is? When you approach conversations like this, it quickly opens the door to more fun, more playfulness, more banter as the interaction goes on. And like I said before, in that first interaction, this is crucial.
The more fun and playful you are in that first encounter, the more you stand out in her mind and the more excited she gets to know you better.
This is when a woman goes to her girlfriends and says things like…
- “Hey I met this cute guy…”
- “I think he likes me…”
- “He’s really fun…”
- “I can’t wait to see him again…”
And that’s the place you want to be at before you take things forward with her. Speaking of which…
Step #2: Build a Deeper Connection
Once you’ve sparked that initial interest, it’s time to steer your interactions towards deeper conversations. Conversations that elicit a stronger emotional response from her.
Things that reveal her values, feelings and motivations. This is crucial because women bond over this type of emotionally charged conversation.
While flirting and bantering gets us excited to want to know you… Having deeper conversations is what goes beyond that initial attraction… And starts to get us more invested and attached to you.
So many guys never make this transition. And only stay in the playful fun flirting phase. They see the woman laugh and respond positively so they think it’s going well.
But then after a date or two she starts pulling away, showing less interest, ghosting you and you’re left confused at what just happened.
If you want to avoid this you need to practice having deeper conversations on your dates. Ideally, you want your first 2 or 3 dates to be 60% fun… and 40% meaningful connecting conversations.
And it means you need to get better that moving conversations towards feelings, motivations and values. And I’ll give you three easy ways to do this.
First is to ask a “why” question. Let’s say you’ve been talking about travel. And she mentions that she wants to go on a trip to Italy one day.
Instead of replying with… “Oh that’s great. I’d love to go there too.” or “I was there a while back. It’s such a gorgeous place, you’ll love it.”
Just ask her…“Why Italy?”
Let her talk about the motivation behind this desire. Let’s say she tells you it’s because everyone raves about the food in Italy. And how beautiful the cities are. Or how she’s always dreamt of taking a boat ride in Venice. Or she loves those cozy Italian cafés she’s seen online or the majestic roman architecture.
Whatever her response is, now she’s talking about something that moves her emotionally, instead of just surface level chatter. Here’s another example.
Let’s say she tells about how she has recently started doing Pilates. Instead of saying: “Oh. That’s great.”
Go a layer deeper and ask her why. She’ll tell you why she chose Pilates. What stood out to her. Or what she enjoys about it. And that just adds more emotional charge into the conversation.
The second deep conversation tactic is to ask the question: “How did it make you feel?
This is great when someone is talking about an event that happened in their lives. Let’s say she’s talking about when she got her first pet. You could ask her… “How did that make you feel?”
And she’ll probably go, “Oh my god, I was so happy. I mean, he was the cutest little puppy, and I was just obsessed with him from day one. You know this one time…”
And she tells you a story that brings back fond memories. Now you don’t have to copy this question word for word every time.
The idea is to probe for feelings behind the actions and events that someone tells you about. So let’s say she tells you that her favourite band is Nirvana.
You could ask her what was it that made her fall in love with that band. Or she tells you she loves reading books.
Ask her what made her fall in love with reading books. Act like you’re a detective for people’s feelings, values, and motivations. And you’ll be better at recognizing the opportunities to move conversations in that direction.
Now that said, sometimes women and people in general, might not feel comfortable opening up too much with a person they don’t fully know yet. And they might give you short answers to your probing questions.
That’s why we have the third tactic… which is perhaps the most powerful of them all. Go there first.
That means you start revealing the feelings, motivations or values behind what you’re talking about. Let’s say you’re talking about the time you left your job and started a business.
Tell her what motivated you to make that move. How did it feel in the start? Why was it important for you to do it?
People are far more likely to follow and mirror your actions than to go there first. And this is especially true for women.
Women want you to lead the way in the context of dating and relationships. So this is the most important tactic of all.
And it’s especially powerful when you’re revealing your vulnerabilities and unflattering truths.
For example… Let’s say you’ve recently been through a painful divorce… And the topic of past relationships comes up in this conversation with your date.
Instead of shying away from it, trying to hide it or downplay the effect it had on you… Go into it without hesitation.
Let her know that it wasn’t easy separating from someone you’ve been with for a long time. And it was even harder to put yourself out there again and start dating.
Talk about the frustrations and doubts you had to deal with. The only caveat is that you shouldn’t dwell on these negative emotions.
That would ruin your mood. And it would ruin hers too. You want to share your emotions without staying in it.
I know this is easier said than done. And it takes a lot of courage to open up in the first place. But if you do it right, this is the stuff that builds a genuine connection.
A connection that goes beyond attraction. Because it does two things for you. One — it lets people see the real you. Not a front. Not a gimmick. The raw unfiltered you.
And people are magnetically drawn to that kind of authenticity. Women especially find it irresistible because of how much confidence and courage it exudes.
Secondly it invites people to talk about their vulnerabilities and their struggles. It invites people to drop the mask, stop trying to look perfect and be truly themselves.
And when someone creates that safe space for us to be real, be free and be authentic… We can’t help but become attached to that person… And want to spend more time in their company. And this is where the next part comes in.
Step #3: Slow Things Down
When a woman is into you and she’s putting in a lot of effort… Most men have a tendency to go with the flow.
Meaning, she’s texting you everyday, you’re texting her back. She’ll calling you and you’re always there. She wants to meet up all the time and you’re happy to oblige. But this is a huge mistake.
And here’s why. When a woman is really into you, she’ll want as much of your time and attention as she can get.
However — if you go with the flow and shower her with an abundance of time and attention, it loses value. YOU lose value.
To put it differently… When she can see you and hear from you all the time… She doesn’t have the chance to think about you, miss you and crave your presence.
Instead — you become common. You lose that “specialness” that you initially had. This is why when you start pursuing or dating a woman… it’s best to take things slow.
Even if she’s texting you every day, it doesn’t mean you have to text her back. If she’s replying to you within 5 minutes, it doesn’t mean you need to do the same.
If she just went on a date and she wants to see you again tomorrow, you don’t have to say yes. Less is more. Slower is better.
These are two phrases I need you to burn into your mind. I know most guys want to give the woman what she wants because they’re afraid to make her upset and lose her in the process.
But I guarantee you that you’re far more likely to lose her by being too available and overinvesting in her. Because that’s when we start to feel like you’ve nothing else going on and we’re the only good thing in your life.
And no woman wants to feel that way. We want to feel like you have a lot going on, you have other priorities and interests, and we can only have small slices of your time and attention.
That commands respect. That increases your value and makes you a hell of a lot sexier. And that’s why you don’t wanna give a woman too much, too fast ever again, even if she’s practically throwing herself at you.
Let her wait for you to text back. Let her wait to see you again. Let her wonder what you’re up to, why you aren’t texting back, or wanting to see her again.
The more she thinks about you like that, the better it is. Because that’s when she’ll start craving you and getting more attached to you.
And most importantly, that’s when she’ll truly VALUE getting to be with you.
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