Do women care about how much money I make?

Answer by Marni Kinrys Founder, The Wing Girl Method · 4 min read

Marni's answer

I'm Marni Kinrys, founder of The Wing Girl Method. Let me settle this one for you because it's making a lot of men insecure for no good reason.

Some women care about money. Most don't. And even the ones who do care aren't caring about it the way you think.

What we actually care about

We care about ambition. Not necessarily where you are — where you're GOING. A broke guy with a plan is way more attractive than a rich guy who's coasting.

We care about stability. Can you manage your own life? Pay your rent? Not spiral when things get hard? That's sexy.

We care about capability. Can you plan a nice date? Handle a problem when it comes up? Take initiative? That's what we're actually reading when we ask about your job.

We do NOT care about the exact number on your paycheck. Most of us have no idea what our friends' partners earn. We just know if their life together looks solid.

Who does care about money — and how to spot her

Some women DO care about your money. Specifically. As in — they want a rich guy and they're gonna filter for it.

You can spot her fast. She asks about your job in the first 15 minutes and wants specifics. She scans your watch, your car, your zip code. She's disappointed if the date isn't fancy. She talks about 'quality of life' a lot.

That woman isn't wrong to want what she wants. She's just not for most men. And she's absolutely not for a man who's still building. Filter her out early and don't lose sleep over it.

Dan and the wallet insecurity

Dan, 52, widowed, Boston. Lost his wife two years ago. Started dating again and was CONVINCED no woman would want him because he wasn't wealthy. Comfortable, yes. Wealthy, no.

I told him — Dan, women in their 40s and 50s who are dating right now? They're not looking for a sugar daddy. They're looking for a MAN. A man who has his life together, treats them right, and is emotionally present.

Dan started dating three months later. Married to an amazing woman a year after that. She makes more money than he does. Doesn't matter. What mattered was that he showed up as someone SHE wanted to be with. Not someone she needed to pay her bills.

Common mistakes men make

• Assuming women want rich men and getting insecure about your income
• Trying to impress her with expensive gifts or dates early on
• Talking about money, your job, or your income too much
• Filtering yourself out of dating because you're not making six figures
• Chasing gold-digger red-flag women and then blaming all women

What to do instead

• Have direction. A plan. A trajectory. That's what she's actually reading.
• Plan a thoughtful, appropriate date — expensive doesn't equal good.
• Handle your own life. Pay your bills. Don't complain about money.
• Filter out women who are visibly focused on your income — they're not for you.
• Show her you can HANDLE a life. That's worth more than any bank balance.

Marni's take

Look — some women want a rich guy. Fine. Let them go find one. The overwhelming majority of women just want a man who's got his shit together. Who's stable. Who's going somewhere. Who can be trusted to handle whatever life throws at him. If you can be that guy, your income becomes almost irrelevant. If you can't be that guy, no amount of money is gonna save you. So work on the character. Money will follow when it follows.

Key takeaways

• Most women care about CHARACTER and CAPABILITY, not your paycheck.
• Ambition and direction beat a big salary.
• Gold-digger types filter themselves out early — let them.
• Have your life together. That's the whole game.