Doesn’t matter if it’s a woman in her 20s, 30s, 50s, or even 70’s… There’s ONE hottest trait in a man that we simply cannot resist.
No. I’m not talking about confidence, charisma, or a sense of humor. Nor am I speaking of height, social status, or good looks. This is something way more unique and RARE. And something that most Internet dating gurus never talk about but they 100% need to.
I’ll tell you what that one trait is and why women find it SO irresistible. And give you real-life examples to illustrate how it looks like in action so that you can copy these examples and hone this trait as well.
So here’s the deal. Like I said before, it doesn’t matter it’s a woman in her 20s, 30s 50s or 70’s… There’s one thing we always find irresistible in a man. And that’s the ability to SET BOUNDARIES.
Set Boundaries
Boundaries from a female point of view means, we want a man to clearly communicate what he will and will not accept from us. This might sound counterintuitive… But we ALL want a man who doesn’t give in to every request we make… And do whatever we want, whenever we want.
This isn’t something you’ll hear women say out loud. But we all are drawn to it on a biological level. And here’s why. If you’re not good at setting boundaries, people will take you for granted and walk all over you.
Now if you’re a guy anybody can just walk all over, no woman will respect you. And we can’t feel attracted to a guy we don’t respect.
On the other hand… If you’re able to voice what you will and will NOT tolerate… in a firm but calm manner… And you don’t sacrifice your own interests just to please someone else… You’re seen as a strong and independent man. The type of man that can’t be taken advantage of. And that’s who women respect and are instinctively drawn to.
Remember this: Attraction follows respect. If you command respect, women will automatically find you attractive. Even if you’re NOT a master flirt, super good looking, rich, funny or high status.
The fastest way to command respect which lead to attraction is to be able to set boundaries. Which brings us to the question… What exactly does setting boundaries look like in practice?
Well, let me give you 8 examples to illustrate. I’ve chosen these 8 specific examples because most guys completely mess up in these situations. And I don’t want you to be one of them.
Example 1: Buy Me a Drink
Say you approach a girl at a bar. And right at the start, she asks you to buy her a drink. Should you do it?
Most guys will do it without hesitation because they don’t want to upset the pretty girl. But that’s where they lose her respect.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with buying a drink for a girl. But when you’ve just met her… you guys haven’t really talked… and she asks you to buy her a drink…
It’s unreasonable. And she knows it. She’s just checking to see if you’ll do anything for her like most other guys. And the moment you do, she loses respect for you.
The correct thing to do in this situation is to say something like… “Sure. I’ll buy you a drink if I find you interesting.” Or… “Does that usually work on other guys?”
Both said with a little smirk and a look of confidence that says “I’m not one of those guys”.
What you’re doing with these responses denying her request but still maintaining a fun, playful vibe. And it shows her that you’re a man with boundaries… and won’t bend over backwards to have a shot with her… like every other guy does.
Example 2: The Expensive Date Request
Once again, there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with taking a woman out on an expensive date… If that’s something you genuinely want to do and it’s financially feasible for you.
But if a woman explicitly tells you that she’ll ONLY go out with you if it’s someplace expensive… You should tell her no. And suggest an alternative plan.
Why? Because one… you shouldn’t “have to” splurge money to get a chance to meet her. And two… a woman who’s actually interested in you won’t care if she meets you at a fancy steakhouse… or your local Starbucks.
So when you tell her no and suggest an alternative plan… She’ll know that you’re not a man she can just walk all over. And you’ll find out if she’s actually worth your time.
Example 3: Let’s Get to Know Each Other First
Say you’ve been texting a girl and you ask her out… To which she says… “Let’s get to know each other first before we meet.”
What should you respond with? Most guys agree to it without thinking twice. But that’s a mistake.
Ask yourself: Are you trying to be her pen pal? Or are you trying to date her? Also, how much can you really get to know a person over text?
Most guys know what the right thing to do is in this situation. But they don’t do it because they don’t want to go against her wishes. You need to be different.
Next time a girl tells you this… You respond with something like… “Well, I don’t believe you can really get to know someone over text. So I suggest we meet in person instead, even if it’s for a quick coffee.”
You’re not forcing her to meet you. You’re just letting her know what you think and what you want. Then she can choose to either move forward with it. Or not. In which case you’ll save yourself a lot of wasted time and effort.
Example 4: The Flaky Girl
I always say this to my coaching clients… If a girl flakes on you at the last moment but at least gives you a reason why, you can give her a second chance. But not without letting her know that this isn’t cool.
The important thing here is to sound calm but firm when you do it. And definitely not angry or hurt.
So let’s say she tells you she can’t make it because there’s this thing she forgot about… You respond with something like:“That’s alright. No hard feelings. However my time is very valuable to me and I hope you will respect that in the future.”
This is calm but still firm. It tells her that you respect yourself. And she shouldn’t take you for granted.
If she’s actually into you, she’ll correct her behavior in the future. And if she doesn’t, you’ll know you should move on.
Example 5: Insulting Behavior
If a girl is teasing you or poking fun at you in a friendly way, you do the same to her. That’s called banter. And it builds chemistry.
However if a girl is blatantly insulting you, something you’re passionate about or people you hang out with… You need to draw a line.
You need to calmly but firmly tell her something along the lines of: “I don’t appreciate you talking to me like that.”
Or simply…. “I won’t allow you to talk to me like that.”
There’s nothing that will make a woman lose respect for you faster… than if she can insult you and not get called out on it.
Unfortunately, most men don’t get this. They’re so afraid to lose the girl… that they will keep taking shit from her without ever calling her out on it. Don’t be like that.
Please take note of the tone I use for all of these examples cause they are part of this. Calm. Cool. Collected but firm.
Example 6: The Clothing Dilemma
Say you’re in a relationship with a girl. And say you notice that she’s been posting revealing pictures online… Or going out with her friends wearing highly revealing dresses… What should you do?
If you look on the Internet, you’ll find some people say a woman can wear whatever she wants. So let her be. And then you’ll find another group saying this is unacceptable behavior.
My take is this: A woman CAN wear whatever she likes. And do whatever she wants.
But if you, as her partner, are not comfortable with it, it’s your responsibility to voice that. You’re not gonna force her to change her behavior. You’re simply gonna let her know that you’re not okay with it.
And then the 2 of you will have to come to a compromise and if you can’t you may need to part ways. Setting boundaries is about voicing your opinion and feelings to a woman. Not demanding changes, being aggressive or dominating.
If she continues that behavior even after that then you can decide how you want to proceed and if you can be okay with it or not.
Example 7: The Ex Problem
So I got asked about this recently… This guy said he started dating this new girl. But she’s still in contact with her ex. How should he address it?
I told him that it’s obviously a red flag that she’s still in touch with her ex. Because 9 times out of 10 it means she still has feelings for him. And hasn’t moved on completely.
The best way to address it is to sit down with her and calmly tell her that you’re uncomfortable with her still talking to her ex. If she listens to you with an open mind and decides to make a change, great.
If she doesn’t, it definitely means she’s still has strong feelings for her ex. And you absolutely need to let her go.
Example 8: The Clinger
Say your girlfriend wants to spend every minute of the day with you… And doesn’t give you space go hang out with your friends or go do things on your own… It can feel really frustrating.
However, most guys never dare to address it because they don’t want to upset her. What happens then is that… They start resenting her. And that resentment builds over time.
Until one day it finally bursts out and causes a huge fight… or destroys the relationship completely. Now, this can easily be avoided by one simple move. Yes, you guessed it… By expressing your boundaries.
By letting her know that you value the time you spend with her but you also need some time apart from every now and then. Even if it upsets her a little in the moment, if she truly wants to be with you, she’ll understand. But you have to let her know.
I’ve given you plenty of examples today to drive home this one simple point… If you’re uncomfortable with some specific behavior from a woman, let her know in a calm and firm manner.
Women respect that. It shows you’re a strong and independent man. And that’s extremely attractive. Plus, it also helps you avoid the women who are not a good fit for you. Who’ll only waste your time.
So by expressing boundaries you either make a woman respect you… and therefore feel attracted to you… Or you end up filtering out women who are not a good fit. It’s a win-win.
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