It’s no secret that women are naturally drawn to confident men. And confident men are the men we women like to test the most to see if that confidence is for show or really real.
This is not some game women play to make your life harder. It’s a biological, natural response we have to a guy we find attractive and want to see if he can handle us. But that said, how do you know when a woman is testing you?
Well, I’m gonna give you 8 common ways that women test a man, so you know when it’s happening to you… And then also talk about how to handle these tests and move things forward with her smoothly.
Test #1: She teases you
When a woman is interested in you, chances are she’ll tease you. She might make fun of the way you talk, or something you just said to her, or how you’re dressed, your hairstyle or just something about you… She’ll try to poke fun at you…
Which is amazing if you can recognize this and not take it personally, because her first poke is basically an open invitation to flirt with her. It’s what she wants from you and is hoping you’ll give back to her.
So don’t jump to the conclusion that it means she doesn’t like you. If a woman’s teasing you, just assume that she’s feeling curious and attracted to you. Assume that she’s inviting you to play. To banter. To flirt with her. So engage back with her playfully.
Let’s say she tells you… “You know, you have such a dorky hairstyle…”
Respond with something like… “Oh please, I know you love it, I see the way you look at me…”
And if you can’t muster it up to come up with a response like that, you can always do the winning, bully crushing response which is simply repeating the line back to them with confidence.
“I have a dorky haircut??” with a smirk on your face.
And just like that you’ll immediately create more attraction inside of her. She’ll be drawn to the fact that your confidence didn’t shake at all… which is the whole point of testing.
But also the fact that you don’t take things too seriously and know how to banter and have fun.
Test #2: She challenges your opinions
Say a woman criticizes your taste in music, your love for football, or just disagrees with you on a particular subject…It’s easy to start thinking that…
- “Oh no, I might not be getting along with her…”
- “I totally below”
- “I better just change my mind and share a different opinion to make her like me…”
All the nice guys of the world are guilty of doing this… And it’s a huge mistake. Women are not turned on by men who hide who they really are just to please her. It’s weak. It’s needy. And it gives women the ick.
As a rule of thumb, you should never change your opinions or preferences on a whim just to appeal to a woman and get along with her.
Know that a woman is far more attracted to you when you can stand your ground and disagree with her without losing your cool… And show her that you’re unwilling to compromise on who you are just to please her.
Test #3: She asks about other women
If she’s fishing for information about other women in your life or just accuses you of being a player… First of all it’s a major sign of interest. And secondly, it’s a simple test that many guys fail.
Why? Because they get defensive or apologetic.
- “No, I’m not a player, I’d never be one of those guys…”
- “No, I’m not talking to anyone else, I’m just focused on you…”
There’s no need for this. Because it subtly tells her that you’re highly invested in her already. And that’s not a good thing in the early stages of courtship.
Secondly, it shows her that you let the pressure get to you. You got rattled by her question. And started trying to please her. And even if it was out of politeness, that’s NOT how she’s gonna see it.
The way to deal with this test is to just be a little vague and playful about it. So let’s say she says… “You’re such a player, aren’t you?
You say something like… “Aren’t we all players in the game of life?”
She says… “So how many women are you seeing right now?”
You say… “All of them…”
She says… “I bet you say this to all the girls…”
You respond with… “Yeah, works every time…”
See what I mean? You don’t need to make her feel comfortable with your answer. Just playfully brush it off, keep the conversation moving and you’ll keep her interested.
Test #4: She mentions other guys
Sometimes a woman might mention other men in her life… It could be a friend she’s really close to, a cute guy at work, or maybe she might explicitly say that she’s going on dates with other guys.
When you hear something like that, you need to resist the urge to get jealous and reactive to this information. Instead, see it for what it really is.
If you’re not dating this woman yet and you’re mainly on platonic terms with each other, then her mentioning other guys is sign that she’s doesn’t see you in THAT way.
In other words, you’re probably in the friend zone. But if you are dating this woman, or at least you know there’s a romantic connection…
Then it’s just her way of showing you that she has other options, and she won’t wait around forever. That means if you’re dating her and you really like her, you need to move things forward towards a committed relationship.
If you just have a romantic connection with her and you haven’t asked her out yet, you need to do that ASAP.
Now I’ll admit that this isn’t the healthiest way to hint at wanting to move things forward. And it does show some insecurity and immaturity on her part. But her motivation here is mainly to get closer to you.
So see it for what it is instead of getting jealous or angry or nervous when she mentions other guys.
Test #5: She acts hot and cold
You know how this goes. One day she’s showing a ton of interest, the next day she’s gone. Now there are three common reasons she might do this.
First reason is to test your level of interest in her. She wants to know if you’re actually serious about pursuing her. She doesn’t invest too much in you emotionally, and then end up getting her heart broken. So she’s pulling back her interest and wants to see if you’ll still engage and pursue.
Second reason is to test your confidence. It’s no secret that women gravitate towards confident men. But of course, any guy can “seem” confident when a woman is super responsive and shows a lot of interest. So she wants to see what happens when she pulls back her attention.
Will you get insecure and obsessively start reaching out to her? Or will you remain cool and calm like a man who’s actually confident in himself? That’s the test.
Now the third common reason is that she was never interested in you in the first place. And just enjoyed the attention. The good news is, whatever the reason, there’s one simple way you can respond. I call it playful engagement.
If a woman suddenly pulls away and goes cold, you still can reach out, but you need to keep your communication lighthearted and playful. So if a woman stops replying to your messages…
You could send her something like… “Hey, if you’ve been kidnapped by aliens, let me know. I’ll come save you in 4 to 5 business days.”
Or — “Look at us. Quite chatty, aren’t we?”
This kind of a response does two things. The fact that you’re reaching out to her shows that you have some level of interest in her. She’s not just “another girl” for you.
And the fact that you’re playful shows that you’re not too bothered about her lack of communication. You’re still confident in yourself.
Now here’s the next thing to keep in mind. And it’s what I call the two strikes rule. If a woman goes cold, you can playfully engage with her twice without a response. But not more than that.
If she’s into you and was just testing your level of interest or confidence, she’ll engage back with you. If she doesn’t then she wasn’t into you to begin with and just wanted your attention. So you cut your losses and move on.
And that’s all you need to know about the hot and cold test.
Test #6: She asks you to do favors
If the woman you’re pursuing asks you to do favors for her, there’s one rule to remember. You never want to inconvenience yourself too much just to please her.
For example, if she wants a lift to the airport and you already have plans with friends, or important work to do… Just say no.
If she wants you to take her somewhere really nice and expensive, but you know it’s a little out of budget for you… Again, just say no.
Women want a man to say no to her. Women want a man who has boundaries and doesn’t bend over backwards to please her.
If you’re a guy who’s always available to help her out and do things for her… especially in the early stages of courtship… She’s gonna take you for granted and lose all respect for you.
Yes, she might still give you attention and keep you around to do more favors… But you’ll never get her to want you in a romantic or sexual way.
So when asked to do favors, check in with yourself. Don’t do something just to please her. Put yourself and your needs first.
Test #7: She flirts with other men in front of you
Now this is one that I did a LOT when i was younger and I would 100% do it now if I was trying to test a man. Truth is, I still do this on some level with my man just to see if I’ve still got it. Ha.
If a woman is into you and not fully sure how you feel about her, or thinking she may like you more than you like her, she’ll flirt with other guys in front of you.
Now there are many ways you could react to this situation. You could get jealous, you could get competitive, you could get pissed OR you could do the 1 thing that actually lets you pass her test with flying colors.
Cause the truth is she’s flirting with these guys because she likes you, not because she actually wants to hurt you. Here’s what you do.
When you see her flirting with another guy you walk up to the both of them and start engaging the guy and make friends with him. Win him over.
This shows that you are cool and confident and what she’s doing doesn’t rattle you at all. Then at a certain moment where it’s obvious the guy likes you back, you can put your arm around her and find a reason to pull her away.
You could even go a step further and let that woman know you got a little jealous for a minute and realized you had been doing a bad job of showing her your intentions. She’ll be putty in your hands at this point.
Test #8: She says she won’t sleep with you
Whether it’s on a date or when you’re first meeting and flirting with a woman… If a woman tells you “we’re not having sex tonight”…
It typically means that she’s already thinking of having sex with you and feeling VERY attracted to you. But at the same time part of her is trying to resist these urges.
She doesn’t want to be seen as “that kind of girl” and definitely doesnt want you to see her that way. And she certainly doesn’t want to be used and tossed away.
She wants to behave herself and make sure you see that’s a good girl and worth your time and attention. So don’t take this as a negative sign. Don’t be rattled by it and stop trying to move things forward.
The best way to deal with this is to just tease her or make a joke about it. Something like… “Wow. Already thinking about sex with me?? I knew this cologne was a good choice” said in a playful way.
Or — “Don’t worry, I’m saving myself for marriage…” with a little smirk on your face.
Just don’t push her into anything. Don’t try to escalate too quickly. Just keep talking, flirting and slowly moving things towards a more private location. With a slow and relaxed escalation, nine times out of ten you’ll end up sleeping with her that same night.
But just know, if she did make this statement its because she wants you to see her as something more than a one night stand. So move forward cautiously. Sometimes sex isn’t worth the backlash on the other end.
The main thing to remember about a woman testing you is that every test is permission to start flirt and test her back. Not exactly sure how to do this?
Then you are about to love me. Because I made a video that shows you exactly how to flirt with a woman and move things forward in a sexual direction.
It also explains my method for flirting with women called the F Formula. The F formula shows you a simple framework that’ll make flirting feel like second nature… Including some word-for-word examples to help you get the hang of it.
This is the fastest way I know of to create the gut-level attraction and sexual tension that we find irresistible…
To learn more on how to quickly and easily ignite feelings of emotional connection in any woman you speak to through flirting, simply click the link below in the description box to learn more about the f formula and watch a free 15 minute video that tells you all about the f formula and how to use it on women. Go watch it now!!