Here’s the deal. Contrary to popular belief, Clubs, bars, and dating apps are NOT the only ways to meet women. You can meet women EVERYWHERE. Coffee shops, supermarkets, parks, gyms, meetup groups, classes. anywhere you go.
And I’m gonna show you how. I’m going to give you the female perspective on what to say when approaching women whenever and wherever you see them!
I’ll tell you 3 simplest conversation starters. So whenever you spot an attractive girl, you can go up and talk to her without hesitation. Just pay attention and keep reading.
Explanation
Before I dive into the 3 pickup slash opening lines to say to women, I want to explain a couple of things first. Cause these lines won’t work if you dont know these things. So bear with me for just a minute cause this is really important stuff you need to know.
First of all, here’s a truth that all guys need to know about approaching women. And that is… No woman is gonna tell you to approach me now.
Even if she likes you, keeps glancing at you, and wants to talk to you… She’s not gonna go over and say, “Hey, I like you. You should come talk to me.”. That's just not ladylike and to be honest, not a role most of us want to take on.
Now, does a woman want to be approached by everyone? No.
We want to be approached by guys who appear comfortable doing the approach. Why? Because if he seems comfortable talking to us… it subconsciously makes us comfortable talking to him.
Doesn’t matter if it’s at a cafe, a bar, a restaurant or at the gym… Your level of comfort determines her level of comfort. If you think it’s wrong or weird talking to this girl, she will feel the same way.
So the best thing you can do when waking to up a girl is this… Go in with an attitude and mindset that says: “I’m just being social. And that’s okay. Whatever happens, happens”.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a social person. AND here’s a little trick I give to all my clients. If they are a little nervous and they fumble in conversation with a woman they can simply announce the elephant to her.
Meaning they can literally say to her mid-conversation “I realize you’re making me nervous and I’m fumbling a bit. Let’s start this over. I’m Randy”. Saying out loud what you’re feeling on the inside releases it so it won’t hold as much power over you.
Key Thing
The key thing to understand is that women are not looking to be wowed by your first words. This is such a big mistake guys make. They think that their first line has to sweep a woman off her feet… and make her smile, laugh, and fall in love with him. That’s not true at all.
Yes, on dating apps your first line needs to be great. Because attractive women get way too many messages. So you need something good to catch her attention. But in real life, no girl is judging you on your first line as hard as you judge yourself.
The fact that you’re initiating a conversation in itself makes you stand out. So stop putting too much thought into your first line. And treat her like a normal human being.
The more you think you need to do and say something special to make her like you, the more needy and insecure you will seem to her.
The advice I give to my personal clients is that… Assume she's already into you. Or at the very least, assume that she’s a friend. That will take the pressure off your shoulders. And make you more relaxed and comfortable.
More importantly, 9 out of 10 times you will find that… women will treat you the way you expect to be treated. If you expect her to be open and happy to talk to you, 9 of 10 times she will be.
If you expect her to reject you immediately or feel awkward, 9 of 10 times she will. The guys who are good with women typically believe that they’re the shit. They’re awesome people. And women will love meeting them.
They think… Even if a woman doesn’t like them initially, if she hangs out with them for a while, she will love them. They don’t think… What if she doesn’t like short guys, or Asian guys, or older guys… or anything of that sort…
They believe even if she doesn’t, they’re going to be the exception… because they’re the shit. And that attitude acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Women tend to be all over them. And they’re constantly meeting and attracting more women. So you need to build up to that mindset.
What To Say
Let’s talk about what to say to start the conversation. I’ve already told you that we don’t care about your opening line… nearly as much as you think we do. But in order to make sure you don’t overthink it, I’m gonna give you 3 types of conversation starters to choose from. All of them work. All of them are great.
When you see an attractive girl, just pick one and go.
Starter #1: The Indirect – question Open
This is where you ask a friendly question or ask for an opinion. For example:
“Do you know where the nearest Dunkin Donuts is?”
“Hey there, what are you taking pictures of?”
“Hi, how’s the workout going?”
“I need some advice on getting my 7-year-old niece a birthday present. Any suggestions?”
These questions get you into a conversation with a woman without being so direct and forward.
After she responds to the questions you can build on things from there. For example “Where is Dunkin Donuts?” – “Make a left at the corner and you’ll see it”.
And then you say “Thank god. I do not do well without my coffee and donuts in the morning. Thanks for your help. My name is Sam btw. What is yours?”
Starter #2: The Situational Open
This is where you either comment on… or ask a question about… something in the moment. Sometimes that exists or is happening in your shared environment. For example:
“Your dog is adorable! What’s his name?”
“5 bucks says he won’t make the train doors before they close.”
“Hi, are you new to this gym? Haven’t seen you here before.”
“Those are some great shoes. Where did you get them?”
Again these are conversation starters. Are they magical no?? But remember it’s how you say these lines not what you are actually saying that will get her attention.
Starter #3: The Direct Approach
As the name suggests, this is where you state your intentions directly. For example:
“Hi, I know this is completely random, but I thought you were cute and wanted to introduce myself. I’m John”
“I have to tell you, you guys look like you’re having the most fun here!”
“Love your energy and vibe and I wanted to come say hi.”
Like I said before, all these approaches work. If I had to pick my favorite one, I’d say the situational. I always like a good observation and when guys talk to me like they already know me.
My 2nd is the direct opener just because I find it extremely hot when a guy knows what he wants… and goes after it without being shy or apologetic. But you can pick any and run with it… as long as you have the right attitude. And to be honest, you’re just looking for a way to GET IN and start talking to her.
With these 3 styles of conversation starters, you don’t have an excuse anymore. Once you’ve gotten into the conversation, your job will be to lead it. At least in the beginning. When we are approached by a guy, we are expecting him to take control of the interaction. We don’t want to be in the driver’s seat.
So what you talk about, how the conversation ends, do you exchange numbers, do you plan to meet again, all of it depends on you. You’re the captain of the ship.
Now, if you’re someone who’s not sure how to steer a conversation, make things fun and interesting and make her want to see you again… Don’t worry. I’ve something you will love. It’s called the Banter Guide.
The Banter Guide gives you proven techniques and formulas for having fun, playful conversations with women… And it gives you countless lines and examples that you can copy-paste right away. From conversation starters to teasing tactics to lines to playfully challenge a girl… You get it all inside the Banter Guide.
In fact, you will even get the best replies and comebacks to handle a woman’s objections and tests. If you struggle to come up with things to say when talking to women, or be seen as interesting and fun, the Banter Guide is for you.
Thousands of my students have used the lines and techniques inside the Banter Guide to date and sleep with gorgeous women. There’s no reason why you can’t do the same.