We’ll talk about why women come back after rejecting you, ghosting you or even breaking up with you.
I get asked about this so often… “Marni, this girl I was dating broke up with me, but now she wants to get back together…”
Or… “Marni, this woman I liked rejected me a couple of months back, but now she has suddenly started texting me again…”
Most men can’t make sense of this strange female behavior… So as your wing girl, I’m gonna explain to you exactly why she comes back after turning you down… And whether you should give her another chance.
Here are 5 reasons why she comes back after rejecting you:
Reason 1: You’re Doing Well and She Noticed
This is the most common one. And I see this talked about the most on social media as well.
So say you posted about a new job you got… Or a fun vacation you went on… Or maybe you’ve been hitting the gym and posted a progress picture online…
All of a sudden, she’s in your text messages… She’s asking you how you’re doing, complimenting you, even suggesting you guys hang out and catch up over a drink… It’s a tale as old as time.
But why does this happen? Well, she might’ve noticed you’re doing just fine without her… In fact, you’re doing really well… And that caused her to regret her decision to turn you down or break up with you.
She might be thinking she missed out… That you’re actually a better catch than she previously thought… So she’s subtly creeping back into your life… hoping to get a second chance with you.
Plus, as I always say… Women are drawn to guys who are thriving in life. Guys who are working hard and making things happen. That’s a powerful attraction trigger that makes women want you really bad.
And even if a woman has rejected you in the past… When she see thrive in life, it creates feelings of attraction in her.
That’s why, I tell guys that… If a woman turns you down today, don’t beg or plead her to change her decision. Don’t try to convince her in any way to give you another chance. That’ll just kill her respect for you.
The best way to deal with this situation is to move on and improve your life. Hit the gym. Work on your business or your job. Hang out with friends. Meet other women. Make progress. Live well without her.
Most often than not, this will create a deep sense of regret in her… And get her racing back to you. What you do then is your call.
Chances are, you wouldn’t even be attracted to her by then. And you’ll have many other dating options to choose from.
Reason 2: She Couldn’t Find Someone Better
It’s human nature to think that “the grass is greener on the other side”. So many times, a woman might reject you or break up because she thinks she can do better. But then she goes out there and realises that there isn’t someone “better” for her…
It makes her realise your actual worth and causes her to regret… And then she comes running back to you, hoping to have that second chance.
This happens a LOT these days. Because social media and dating apps have created a comparison culture. And both men and women fall for it.
You could be dating an amazing girl and then see other people online… and think you could do better. So you leave that girl and go search for someone better… only to then regret your decision.
This is why, when it comes to dating… it’s so important to know what you want. It applies to both men and women. If you don’t know the type of person you want to be with, and the kind of relationship you want to have…
Outside forces like social media will always convince you that there’s someone better. And even if you actually find someone better, a few months later you’ll again feel the same way. Knowing what you want also helps you establish boundaries.
For example, if a woman does come back to you after she couldn’t find someone better, do you really want to take her back? Do you really want to be her second choice? Most guys will say no. Yet so many of them will happily give women second chances like this.
Why? Because they have no real expectations of her. No real boundaries. As long as she looks hot, she has a free pass to do anything she wants.
You don’t wanna be that type of guy. Because if you are, women will walk all over you, take you for granted, treat you like a second option… And you’ll never find the right girl for you.
Reason 3: She Took Her Time to Grow
A lot of the times when women reject you, it has nothing to do with you. Maybe her ex had come back in the picture, and she was dealing with her feelings for him.
Maybe she had been hurt before and she wasn’t ready to date someone new. Maybe she was focused on some personal goals and actually didn’t have the time to date. And maybe now she’s had the time to process all of that, grow, heal, and do what she needed to do…
And she’s finally at a place where she’s ready to pursue a potential relationship. That said, if a woman ever tells you that she’s not ready to date right now… for whatever reason… You don’t wanna wait for her to get ready.
I see guys make this mistake quite often. And I call it a mistake because… Waiting for someone who’s available makes you miss out on amazing opportunities.
There are other women who are as attractive as her, have similar qualities AND are ready to date you… But if you never put yourself out there because you’re waiting for this one girl… You’re going to never meet these amazing women who are more suitable for you.
So if she’s not ready to date, don’t waste your time. Go meet other women.
Reason 4: Second Guessing
As a woman, I can tell you that we overthink a lot. We overthink and over analyse things. And many times we’ll go back and forth about a decision we’ve made. And worry that we got it wrong.
This applies to dating and relationships too. A woman might reject you or end things with you… And then spiral into an overthinking frenzy.
She might worry that she made the wrong call.
- What if you actually were the right guy?
- What if you she doesn’t find someone better?
- What if you were The One for her?
And this type of thinking just prompts her to reach back out to you… Hoping to give things another shot.
Interestingly enough, this is actually more common with women who are very attractive and have lots of options.
Why? Because studies show that more options makes people less sure about the choices they make. So a woman who has lots of options will worry and overthink her choices even more… Even though that sounds totally counterintuitive.
Reason 5: You’re With Someone New
I’ve said this a million times before… And I’ll say it again… Women want men who are wanted by other women. It’s just in our nature to feel attracted to a man who’s “in demand”.
This is why… So many times, a girl my reject you or break up with you… But then a few weeks or months later… She sees a picture of you with a new girl… Or hears from someone that you’re dating someone new… And all of a sudden a switch flips in her head… And she starts wanting you.
This is also why you’ll see some guys constantly date the hottest women… And have women chasing him relentlessly… Even if they’re not they’re not physically attracted, rich or high status.
What happens here is that they start getting attention from one attractive woman… Or start dating her… And then other women take notice… And start flirting with him, wanting him and fighting for his attention.
It’s almost like a domino effect. Attention from one hot woman or a few hot women… just leads to more and more female attention. And suddenly you have endless options with women.
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