A common question I get from men is Why Do Nice Guys Always Finish Last?
The truth is that they don't.
A lot of the men I work with are awesome, wonderful, intelligent, great, NICE guys. The problem is that a lot of women do not get the chance to know this about them because as soon as they get around women they freeze up.
My Wing Girl, Mary Grace, has written a great piece on Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last that I think will answer this question once and for all.
To tell you a little about MG she is passionate about NCAA football, Texas barbeque, and the southern gentleman. For as long as she can remember, she has always been intrigued with the ways in which men and women communicate.
She has been helping her guy friends out for years with revealing to them What Women Want. WGM is proud to have her on board!
Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of five years. He treated me like a princess, he never cheated, and though our relationship had its ups and downs, it was never volatile or dysfunctional. He was labeled by all my girlfriends as “the perfect guy” and “the guy you marry,” and they all loved him to death. This is what every girl dreams of in a boyfriend, right? But why did I so readily throw it all away to re-enter the dating pool filled with so many insincere and douche-y guys?
I am going to explain why being too nice can often times lead to your downfall.
I have often questioned why women like myself talk and talk about wanting a good man in our lives, yet when we do snag the perfect guy who carries absolutely no baggage and is drama-free, we easily become bored and move on to someone more exciting…someone who appears to have more of an edge. Most men left in this predicament are left thinking, “I did everything right, yet I lost the girl anyway!”
Here's the deal:
We want the mix of the knight in shining armor who sweeps us off our feet, as well as the bad biker boy from the wrong side of the tracks who shows us a thrilling ride.
Here's what I am trying to say. A woman DOES want a good guy, but not at the expense of someone losing himself completely for the girl. When a guy does EVERYTHING we want and does EVERYTHING right, it makes us feel that we, too, have to live up to this standard of perfection and that is just too much pressure. No one is perfect..not even us. When a guy runs to our every beck and call, it seems as if we don't have to work for anything to win his affection. We want to be able to earn your love and devotion as well.
A woman wants a man–a man with a backbone, one who will tell her when she is wrong, who will continue to put her in her place when she is having one of her unreasonable rants, and who will not lie down and play dead when she is being overly demanding or bossy.
Make no mistake that this is not to be confused with women who have a penchant for abuse and are attracted to men who treat them badly. A strong, independent woman really does want a man who will treat her well, and will not go searching for a “player”, Casanova, or even a two-timing douche-bag. All we are asking for is a man to treat us with respect yet at the same time, not be so wrapped up in pleasing us ALL THE TIME that he becomes a robot with no personality who only says, “yes, honey” never questioning whether the woman's request is ludicrous or if he is being walked all over.
Understand that women get bored with this. We do not want just the “yes man.” We want a real man; a partner; someone who will tell us like it is when need be, and at the same time be our protector and refuge when the world is falling apart.
Finding that balance is what you have to achieve in order keep a devoted girl by your side–one who's interest you will keep, whom you will challenge, will never take you for granted, and will be proud to call you her man.