The setting is perfect, you’ve laughed and talked, maybe had a few drinks and some good food. Everything is mellow and romantic. You lean in. Further. Further. And your lips meet—air? Or slightly better, the smooth cheek of your lady friend. You pull back in surprise. Her eyes are shuttered, her smile embarrassed.

What happened?!

The most common reason is that you missed the all important “come hither” signals that women give out to let men know they want to be wooed physically.

You missed the “Kissing Code.”

Lucky for you, I’m here! First, let’s breakdown the language a woman who DOES NOT want to be kissed to save yourself the time, confusion, and embarrassment from NOT knowing:

• Warning Sign #1: When a woman avoids making eye contact with you, pay attention. It could mean she is just shy and nervous. However, if she looks around the room or over your shoulder she probably wants to be elsewhere.
• Warning Sign #2: If your date purses her lips frequently—compresses them so they are very thin or even disappear—she could be displaying irritation, boredom, or impatience (none of which are harbingers of an impending lip lock).
• Warning Sign #3: Keep an eye on her overall body carriage. Is she tense and circumspect with her arms and torso? When a woman keeps her arms folded, holds her hands in her lap, or hugs herself around the chest she is attempting to make herself as small as possible to avoid contact.
• Warning Sign #4: As for her conversation, a woman is not interested in a kiss if she purposefully steers talk away from anything personal or intimate. She will speak in a normal voice and keep a fair amount of distance between her body and yours.

• Signal #1: Her eyes are softened and slightly narrowed—this is the “dreamy” expression–and she keeps dropping her gaze to look at your mouth.  This indicates that she is imagining her lips locked with yours.
• Signal #2: If she is licking or lightly biting her lips a lot (especially in combination with the first point) it means she is making sure they are soft and pliable.
• Signal #3: What your parents told you was true: if a girl hits you it’s because she likes you. Gentle slaps on the arm or leg, and seemingly casual touches to your face or hands all hint at her desire to be close.
• Signal #4: Listen to her voice as well. If it dips in tone and becomes slightly breathy the lady is inviting you into her personal space for a secret.

If you still can’t seem to decipher the Kissing Code your date is using, settle for a kiss on the cheek, but linger near her face for a moment and allow her to make the choice of taking it a step further. When all else fails, just ask her if she would mind a little lip dancing.

Here are some bonus tips for you to keep in mind before you go in for that kiss:

1. Don’t SURPRISE her: If you’re not close to a woman, making good eye contact and speaking seductively; you’re doing nothing to communicate that a kiss is coming her way. If you try to make out with her out of the blue, she will react with shock because it is not a pleasant surprise. Plus, you’ll miss out on all the fantastic anticipation we feel as women when we know that a kiss is coming.

2. Don’t use CHEESY lines: Another great reason for communicating that you want to kiss a woman through your body language, and eye contact, is that you get to avoid those cringe worthy chat up lines. Lines like, “How would you rate yourself as a kisser?” just makes my skin crawl! Kissing is natural, you don’t need to use a line to initiate it.

3. Take it SLOW: Start off slowly and gently, then gradually build up to a more passionate kiss.  Kissing is an incredibly sensuous act for women and it is amazing foreplay. It also gives us a little hint about how we might continue on with you as lovers. Just like how you wouldn’t dive straight into sex, without the foreplay; you also want to take your time with a kiss.

Follow these tips and whilst you may not have an Oscar’s worthy first kiss every time; you’ll still be more likely to receive another.

Kissing is only the first step when it comes to seducing a woman…and sadly a lot of guys don’t get past the initial kiss.

If you wanna know how you can take things even further once you guys have already gotten past the hot and heavy make-out sessions, then I have just the thing for you…

I had an amazingly interesting (and highly sexual) talk with a girlfriend of mine about exactly what women want when it comes to “taking things a step further”

You can check out my Let’s Talk Sex with Darrah De Jour here and get everything you need in order to get (and keep things) super hot between you and your lady all throughout the night.

It’s an unedited recording of myself and Darrah talking about what all women want sexually from men.

Here are just a few things we cover:

– How to avoid performance anxiety

– How to calm a woman so that she is open to doing what you want in the bedroom

– Does size matter?

– How to properly use a smaller penis

– How to touch a woman (how long, where to touch)

– How to escalate to sex

– How to talk about safe sex

– Can all women have vaginal orgasms?

– What to do after sex

– How to have 1 night stands

First impressions are everything…so make sure you give her a lasting one and listen to the MP3 recording of “Let’s Talk Sex” call with Sexpert Darrah de jour by Clicking Here.