From my experience as well as the thousands of interviews I have done with women from all over the world, I know that the source of the compliment is more important than what is being said.
So BEFORE complimenting, ask yourself these questions:
– Am I complimenting to get something? –
If your answer if YES, then don’t compliment.
– Am I complimenting to fill space so that there is no silence? –
If your answer if YES, then don’t compliment.
– Am I complimenting because I don’t know what else to say? –
If your answer if YES, then don’t compliment.
– Am I complimenting so that I can stay in the conversation?-
If your answer if YES, then don’t compliment.
– Am I complimenting to make her like me more? –
If your answer if YES, then don’t compliment
Compliments to a woman must be real in order for them to have a real impact. If they are fluffy or dishonest, we will disregard them and they will have no effect. We can smell bullshit from a mile away.
For example: You are beautiful.
As nice as this compliment is… it means nothing. In fact she will respond to your compliment and say:
Female Response: Great. You’re the 5th guy to tell me that today. It’s nice to hear, but is that really all you’ve got?
It’s not exactly said that bitchy, but I am trying to show you the effect that it has, even if it is subconscious. Picture this response as a simple shrug and a smile, which means – These words have no emotional impact.
Here is the RIGHT way to say that compliment:
“I know most men can see you’re a good looking woman, but I think your real beauty shows once you start to speak.”
Now that statement shows a woman that you see her and you get her true beauty.
NOTE: Compliments still have to be sincere, even if they are said in this manner)
Now, I have an exercise for you so that you can truly understand how it feels to woman and have an empty compliment thrown in your direction.
Exercise:
Ask a stranger to compliment you for 30 seconds straight. Preferably a man. I know this seems tough but it’s actually really fun. After, I want you to tell me how it felt to have empty, meaningless compliments thrown at you by another person. This is exactly how women feel when you compliment them for no reason!
I want you to try this experiment and tell me what you think, what you discovered and most importantly how you felt.
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