From: Marni (Your Personal Wing Girl)
I have many guy friends. Guy friends who I love and think are the best guys in the world. And guy friends who can still shock me when I see how terribly they handle themselves with women. Lucky for my guy friends, they have me to get their female advice from.
I was on the phone the other night with one of my guy friends talking about girls, sex, attraction, love, past relationships and he told me about this girl he had been interested in a long time ago back at college that he happened to see by his office that day.
He said that he always regretted not asking her out in college and that he wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass by him again.
So he did some recon work and got her email address. I told him to show me his email before sending it to her. Thank goodness he showed me because it would have been disaster had he sent it.
I want to show you the huge mistakes he almost made, that are super easy to fix. I’m going to show you how you should ask a girl out, and do it with confidence and intrigue…
Our email correspondence is below along with my commentary on how to ask out a girl properly:
Email from friend:
Hey X,
I hope you’re enjoying your summer and BDM’s treating you well.
We never actually speak when we see each other, and I think we should change that.
Let me know if you want to grab a coffee or a drink some time.
Y (My Friend)
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My Response:
Did you send this yet? Please say you didn’t. Its sweet but it has no oomph to it to get a girl riled up. It can be stronger and more attractive. Seems a little soft. Again it’s good but it can be better.
Marni’s Commentary: Woman are at their peak of attraction when they have the opportunity to feel their most feminine. My friends email was not terrible, it was nice. But there was nothing to latch onto. No excitement but really sweet. You want to offer a woman something that she basically has no choice but to say YES to. Not because she was forced to say yes, but because she was intrigued and excited.
Marni
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Friends Response
I could just say:
Hey X,
Would you like to meet for a coffee one day?
…But I put in the other filler and formality because she doesn’t actually know me. The opening summer stuff is there as polite throat clearing before moving on to the point.
Y (My Friend)
********
My Response:
Don’t be polite. Also say what YOU want. Try it that way.
Marni’s Commentary: I find that when guys are trying to “be polite” they end up coming off as saps, wimps or suck ups. No good, not attractive and does not get the reaction you are looking for from a woman. The more masculine and direct you can be with a woman the better. This does not mean be a jerk, an a**hole etc.
*******
Friends Response
X,
Got the wave in the Path last week, but we never actually speak when we see each other. Let’s change that!
Do you have time for a coffee or a drink this week?
Y (My friend)
*********
My Response:
So much better. Love the let’s change that part but get rid of the exclamation point. Needs one more tweak, but getting there. Does it feel better to you?
Try I WANT as part of what you say. I want to get to know you better or I want to take you out or I want to change that.
Marni’s Commentary: In the beginning stages of dating it’s about YOU. What YOU want, what YOU are looking for. You do not know HER yet, so the person to take care of is you. Therefore do not be ashamed or fear that you are being too obvious with what you are asking for. Being DIRECT AND HONEST will always get you the best results. YOU want to date her. YOU want to sleep with her. YOU want to go for coffee. So say it. Say what you want 🙂
*******
Friends Response:
Got the wave in the Path last week, but we never actually speak when we see each other. I want to change that.
Do you have time for a coffee or a drink this week?
Y
*******
Marni’s Response:
Love this!!! Send 🙂
*******
Friends Response:
Subject: I Owe You One
This is what she wrote back to me 10 minutes after I sent:
Hey Y,
yes the Path seems to be such a social place these days! I am always running into familiar faces. I’d be down for a coffee break this week – any day but Thursday works for me!
*******
Marni’s Response:
Yay!!!! Send me your response before you write back.
*******
Friends Response:
Ok great, let’s do Friday. I had to run out of the office this afternoon and only just got home. I’ll tell you about it Friday, but it will likely make tomorrow super busy for me.
Are you able to get away 2:30ish Friday?
– I feel bad because I did not get her email till just now which is 4 hours after she wrote. Should I just write tomorrow.
*******
Marni’s Response:
Nooo!!!!! I hope you didn’t send that. You are pouncing, throwing up on her. You can tell her about your great day when you see her. No need now. In response to your last comment, you have a life, you are busy, you work hard, therefore all your energy does not need to suddenly shift direction for this girl. You will get back to her when you get a chance to. Wait until tomorrow and write a direct email saying you will meet her at XYZ at this time. Done. Direct =’s Sexy. Lots of words and fluff =’s a future of her crying on your shoulder about other guys. Get my point.
Marni
Marni’s Commentary: My friend took my advice and they are now on their date.
Here’s the truth that you NEED to know about women.
The first email my friend wrote to this girl may have gotten a response, it may have even gotten him on a date. BUT, it wasn’t attractive and it certainly would not get a woman excited and eager. And it definitely would not establish attraction.
What it would do, is slightly interest a woman and get her to say “might as well”. Is that what you want?? For a woman to agree to go out thinking “I’ll give him shot. He seems nice enough.”.
You want a woman to say “OMG I want this guy and I can’t believe he is giving me his attention. I am excited to go out with him.” And that is exactly what this new email will do. It will make a woman excited and feel butterflies in her stomach.
There are 1000’s of more little things that men don’t know about women. But I guarantee if you knew them, it would put you in the top 1% of men that have their choice of women they want. I can tell every little thing you need to know about women. Including the things that women would never want you to know.