I get a couple of hundred emails a day from men all over the world, asking me questions about women. Everything from attraction to dating to sex to relationship and marriage. Wanted to share one with you:
Hi Marni,
There are so many times I'm out speed dating or on a 2nd date and I'd like to be open and honest about what I want, yet I'm socially aware there is a right and wrong way to express that intention.
My Question is what is the correct way to express your desires and intention in the correct way that turns her on ?
Peter
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Peter,
I always say be honest with tact and DO NOT emotionally throw up on a woman. For the first date, or the first speed dating round, you definitely want to keep it fun and light. BUT if you do want to get into the more nitty gritty topics and put it all out there, here is how to do it:
Instead of saying this:
“I've been to a million of these speed dating events and I just want to find someone. I really want to get married and have kids. I'm ready and I'm hoping to find that girl here tonight. So how about you?”
This is tooooooooo much. Too emotional, too needy and too yucky.
You can say the same thing but with a little more respect for yourself and a little more tact.
Say something like this:
“My life is pretty full right now. I enjoy my job, have a great group of friends. I'm happy. I'm in a space where I am looking explore and meet someone great and see where it goes.”
#2 is much stronger and shows that you still respect your life but looking to enhance it with the right person. Honest and classy!