I have been talking to a lot of people lately. Clients, other specialists, people interviewing me. For some reason I keep spitting out the words JUST BE YOURSELF.
So tonight, I decided to really think about whether or not I believed this statement. After careful consideration and serious debate (with myself), I realized that my answer is YES. I do believe in the statement JUST BE YOURSELF, but with a twist.
It is always best to be yourself BUT the best version of yourself. Not a version that is passive, lazy, anxiety ridden, frustrated, angry, wimp that does not believe in his value.
The real statement, that I should be making to people, is JUST BE HONEST and be okay with it. The more honest you are with your intentions, your wants and your desires, the happier you'll be AND the more attractive you'll be.
Behavior like negativity, shyness, discomfort, cockiness or aggressiveness, stem from not being honest with those around you and not being HONEST WITH YOURSELF.
I got into a conversation tonight with a woman who told me she broke up with her fiance because he told her that she did not manage her time well.
I was like are you serious? That couldn't have been talked out and smoothed over? Are you really going to let a bruised ego be the reason you end a relationship?
Then she and I dug a little deeper and the truth was that she did not find him attractive.
But that is a hard thing to say to others but ever harder to say to yourself.
I have found that many men experience similar situations. For example, men who have fallenl into the friend zone. They fall into the friend zone because they are not being honest with themselves or the women they have recently “befriended”.
Most men do not want to be friends with attractive women and women know this. But when a man is not honest and doesn't ask for anything more, women are more than happy to shove this man into the friend zone for life until he decides to get out of it.
If the man were just honest with himself he would not be in the friend zone because he would know that this friendship was not headed in the direction he really wants.
So what is a guy to do. Well JUST BE HONEST.
Honesty really is the best policy. When you are honest you cut out the crap. You don't get into sticky situations and you feel better about yourself.
So my advice to every man is JUST BE HONEST!