How To Talk To Women And Make Them Feel Good Around You (2 Conversation Tactics)
What does a hostage negotiation have in common with you know how to talk to women you’re attracted to?
It’s surprisingly more than you think. Because both a hostage negotiation and talking to women you find attractive rely on one thing in order to win.
They require you to win over the other side and make them like you so that you can be successful.
The other day I was watching this amazing Masterclass done by Chris Voss.
I’m sure you’ve seen or heard Chris recently. He’s literally everywhere.
Chris is a former FBI hostage negotiator.
As I was watching this amazing master class, which you should totally check out.
Negotiation tactics you can use to talk to women?
The whole time I was thinking “I have to share this with you” because every tactic he’s sharing about how he connects and talks to really bad guys when in a negotiation would be great to use with women”.
Chris Voss used to be the lead international hostage negotiator for the FBI, and in 2016 his book “Never Split The Difference” made a huge splash in the business world.
In the book, he outlines the 6 key conversational tactics he used in the most intense life-or-death hostage negotiations known to man.
One of those stories was about a dignitary’s daughter who had been kidnapped by terrorists. Pretty intense!
This is where the parallels come in.
Because almost every conversation you have with a woman is a negotiation. Am I right?
And the goal is to win her over to your side by creating attraction.
I want to share two of Chris’s 6 controversial conversation tactics with you so you can use them with women and be in complete control every time you talk to a woman.
I want you to start winning your negotiations and never feel tongue-tied again.
Let’s discuss how to use these 2 key controversial tactics in conversation with women so that they build attraction.
How to talk to girls using conversational tactics of “mirroring” and “labeling”
They’re both extremely simple to use and incorporate into your conversations.
They are also INCREDIBLY effective in making people feel understood and building deep rapport and connection with just about anyone.
Now, that you know what they are, you should definitely use them on your next date.
How to talk to women using mirroring
The first one is mirroring and it’s incredibly simple.
As you talk to women, to show them that you’re listening you want to repeat back the last two or three words they said to you. You also want to shift your intonation when you’re doing this so that you add a question more at the end.
One additional tip is don’t overdo this. A woman shouldn’t feel like you’re mocking her or repeating everything that she says. That’s just weird.
You just want to do this in those moments where you want to understand what she’s saying a bit better by repeating it back to her.
At the same time, you’re letting her know that you’re listening and paying attention by doing so.
How to talk to women by “labeling” in conversation
The second one is labeling. Labeling is a verbal acknowledgment of her feelings.
Here’s an example:
You: “How was your day?”
Her: “I’ve been a little stressed. My boss is driving me crazy.”
You: “Driving you crazy?” (mirroring)
Her: “Yeah I keep going above and beyond for him but he always finds some tiny detail that he thinks is wrong with my work…
and then makes me do it all over again. It’s so frustrating, especially when I know I’m doing a good job.”
You: “Sounds like he doesn’t appreciate your hard work.” (labeling)
Her: “That’s so true! …”
What you’re doing here is going a step beyond listening. You’re actually putting your intuitive skills to use by going one step further and assuming what she might be feeling. If her boss isn’t accepting her work then you can safely assume that she feels unappreciated and probably pretty frustrated.
Now can you see how both of these techniques almost instantly make her feel UNDERSTOOD and LISTENED TO?
Women ALWAYS complain about how guys never really listen.
So here’s a way to make them feel deeply understood in no time flat.
It works like a charm.
Now, if ALL you do is make her feel understood, you run the risk of ending up in the dreaded friend-zone.
If it’s all CONNECTION and no ATTRACTION, she’ll see you as a friend. (Just like I explain here)
However, when you COMBINE techniques like this with rock-solid banter and flirting skills?
You instantly become the guy she can’t get out of her head.
And sweeping her off her feet becomes as easy as 1-2-3…
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Rooting for ya! 🙂
Your Wing Girl,
Marni