Here’s a common thing I hear from men… Especially the ones who are highly invested in their professional lives:
“Marni, I’d really like to have a girlfriend but dating just takes too much time.”
And every time I hear it, my response is the same: Dating does take time… if you’re doing the wrong things.
So many guys actually waste most of their time when dating, without even realizing. In fact, I'm gonna show you 7 different ways men waste their time in dating.
When you eliminate these actions, you’ll find that dating is a much simpler and faster process than you thought. If you're a busy guy who wants to have a better dating life… and find a beautiful, high quality girlfriend… I recommend you read this till the end.
Here are the 7 different ways men waste their time in dating…
Mistake 1: Delaying Messages After You Match or Meet
We live in an era of instant communication. People always have their phone in their hands or in their pockets.
So when we reach out to someone, we expect them to respond in a timely manner. After you meet a woman for the first time, she wants to hear from you — usually within 24 hours.
If you match with a woman or she messages you from online dating, she is in the mood to connect. In those instances, she thought you were attractive and wanted to learn more about you.
If you leave her hanging, you risk letting the spark die out completely. Then she’ll lose interest or move onto someone else.
This is why I get so frustrated when my clients wait for multiple hours or days to respond. They say that they don’t have time.
That it’s overwhelming to feel the pressure to reply right away with a flawless message. But here’s the thing: Delaying your message will only consume MORE of your time and energy. You will spend pointless time ruminating and killing your chances.
The #1 thing women need is reassurance that she will have a positive experience with you when she meets you. She wants it to be safe, enjoyable, relaxed, and fun. The way to do that is not obsessing over writing a Pulitzer-winning text message.
It’s getting more comfortable riffing and amusing yourself. Because when a woman can sense you’re having fun and not taking yourself too seriously, that’s when you’re most attractive.
Mistake 2: Texting Women For Days or Weeks
Who someone is over text doesn’t really show who they are in real life. The only way we can form meaningful connections is through real life interactions, not through emojis and words on a screen.
Most women don’t need to learn everything about you before moving to an in-person meetup. Again, they just want to feel that you have a positive vibe together.
Consider exchanging 3-5 messages back and forth (at most) and then invite her to hang out. If she’s not ready, you can talk to her a little more (another day at most), and try again. If she’s still not ready, odds are she’s just not into you.
You could try sending a last resort text like — “I understand you need time to know someone, but I don’t believe you can really get to know someone over text. So if you want to connect further, let me know.”
But then go and focus on other, more excited women.
Mistake 3: Using Crappy Photos On Dating Apps
Your results with online dating will largely come down to your photos. Yet the MAJORITY of men who get poor results and say they “hate” online dating never fix their pictures.
They just stay frustrated with the fact that they don’t get many matches… Or only match with women they don’t find attractive. And it’s actually crazy.
Guys will spend so much time swiping on apps but don’t invest a couple hours to take a few pictures outside with good lighting. Instead, they hope their low-quality photos, selfies, and group photos where they’re obscured will be enough. They absolutely won’t.
Invest in taking at least six good photos of yourself and your hobbies or lifestyle. Then do basic edits to enhance them further. No photographer delivers a picture straight from the camera. And there are a million apps that automatically do this for you… where you only need to make a few adjustments.
Invest a little time upfront in getting photos, and you’ll save so much more time in the long-run.
Mistake 4: Chasing Women Who Aren’t That Into You
It’s human nature to place value on things that are hard to obtain. But this mental bias hurts you in dating. Men often mistake a woman who is aloof, distant, or hot-and-cold as a “catch”.
When that usually means one of two things about her: She’s either not that interested… Or… She has some personal issues and insecurities to deal with.
People who are interested and emotionally available will not want to lose a potentially great connection. They will not randomly make someone beg for their attention.
Yes, it’s a red flag if she barely knows you and suddenly wants to spend every minute with you. But that doesn’t mean the opposite avoidant behavior is healthy, either.
The right woman will maintain her independence and may not be available for you around the clock. But at least she’ll communicate that it’s not about you, reassure you she still wants to spend time together, and work to make that happen.
Chasing women who aren’t into you not only kills your time but also shreds your self-esteem.
Mistake 5: Not Making a Move On The First Date
Sometimes when men land a date with a woman, they go into “preservation” mode. They finally got a woman to hang out, so they don’t want to risk screwing it up.
You may believe that making a move like giving a bold compliment or kiss will ruin everything if it happens at the wrong time. So you play the waiting game…and try to find perfect moments or hints that a woman is ready.
The problem is, you won’t typically get these signals. Most women are much more subtle and want the guy to make the first move. Once he does, then they feel more comfortable with reciprocating.
More than that, flirting is what turns a woman on and builds chemistry. If you treat her like just a friend, she may question both of your feelings.
Remember, she chose to go on a date with you. This means she’s attracted to you. She’s going in with the desire to explore an intimate connection. She knows why you’re there, so take the shot!
If she’s not ready, she’ll let you know. She’s not going to hate you if you accept that gracefully. In fact, she’ll see you were confident but respectful, which reassures her that you’re a good candidate when she is ready.
But if you never take it to that next level, all that time spent on those dates will be for nothing.
Number 6: Putting All Your Eggs In One Basket
Some guys get really excited once they hit it off with a new woman. Maybe that’s after she texts them back a few times, they have some phone calls together, or after they have their first date.
Those men feel confident they’re attracted to this woman and that she’s potentially feeling the same way. So they focus on just her from then on. They stop using online dating. They don’t talk to other women and pine over this one woman instead and keep imagining the next steps. Then one of two things happen:
Scenario 1: The woman has a change of feelings. She realizes that you two aren’t quite right for each other. Or she’s not ready as she thought. Or her ex comes into the picture. Maybe she was continuing to explore other prospects until she was sure about one person — just like you could’ve been doing!
Scenario 2: Because you were so laser-focused on this one woman, you became desperate and clingy, and pushed her away. When one of these two things happen, you end up with no other prospects and have to start from scratch again. I’m not saying you have to be some player who tries to get with several women at the same time.
I don’t want to devalue the beauty of meaningful connections. I just want you to know that those connections can take time to find and build.
Keeping your options open is smart and helps you stay level-headed. If a connection continues growing with someone you like, then you can dedicate more time to them and consider going exclusive.
Mistake 7: Not Being Flirty
When it comes to attracting women and having more options… Your biggest weapon is your ability to flirt. As I already said before, flirting is what turns a woman on and builds chemistry.
Flirting is the language of attraction. Without it, you’re not gonna be making romantic connections with women — online or in person. In fact, you’re mostly going to get ghosted or put in the friend zone.
So this one’s the biggest time killer of all. Even if you meet lots of women in real life… Or match with lots of women online… Unless you’re flirting, you’re not gonna be taking these interactions to the next level… Towards dates, sex and a potential relationship.
Now, if you think your flirting game if not up to the mark… Or you get too shy or nervous around women… Or, you don’t even know how to flirt with a woman in the first place… Don’t worry, I have you covered.
My Wing Girls and I hold online flirting classes every week. Guys hop on a group call and practice flirting with us in a safe and supportive environment. And we give you immediate feedback on what you’re doing right, and what needs to change.
That way you can master flirting very quickly. And then start using your new skills to meet and attract the women you want.
If that sounds good, you can click here and apply to join our weekly flirting classes.
Over 15,000 guys have taken these classes… Learned how to flirt in no time… And completely transformed around their dating lives. No reason why you can’t do the same.
The only caveat is: We can only take on a few new guys per month. And they need to be a “good fit” for us to work with. So if you’re interested in these flirting classes… Click here and fill out the application to see if you qualify.
If you do, we’ll reach out and schedule a call with you to discuss the next steps.