Got a great email today from a guy asking me about the RIGHT way to compliment a woman. He asked:
“Have you done a blog on giving compliments? I think I may have seen something that touched on this but I ask because of something that happened at work recently. A gal I work with asked me if I complimented women very much as I tried to pick up on them. I told her that I rarely do this. She told me that I was wrong for not doing so. I disagree but what are your thoughts? – Al”
I know that I have definitely dished out this advice either in my private coaching or in my products, but not as much in my blogs. Therefore, I wanted to show you my response to him on how to compliment a woman – The RIGHT Way
My Response:
Your girlfriend is kind of right. I wish she had given you more direction because simply complimenting for no reason can actually hurt your chance with women. I talk about complimenting in great depth in my program How To Become A Man Women Want. So this is a topic that I am very familiar with 😉
From my experience as well as the thousands of interviews I have done with women from all over the world, I know that it is more about where the compliment comes from, rather than what is being said.
So BEFORE complimenting, ask yourself these questions:
– Am I complimenting to get something? –
If your answer if YES, then don't compliment.
– Am I complimenting to fill space so that there is no silence? –
If your answer if YES, then don't compliment.
– Am I complimenting because I don't know what else to say? –
If your answer if YES, then don't compliment.
– Am I complimenting so that I can stay in the conversation?-
If your answer if YES, then don't compliment.
– Am I complimenting to make her like me more? –
If your answer if YES, then don't compliment
Compliments to a woman must be real in order for them to have a real impact. If they are fluffy or dishonest, we will disregard them and they will have no effect. We can smell bullshit from a mile away.
**Not sure if you saw my article on the magic word? If not Click Here, but words have no meaning to women if they don't have an emotion attached to them. This means a compliment must be deeper in order to get a response from a woman. She has to feel the compliment.
For example: You are beautiful.
As nice as this compliment is… it means nothing. In fact she will respond to your compliment and say:
Female Response: Great. You're the 5th guy to tell me that today. It's nice to hear, but is that really all you've got?
It's not exactly said that bitchy, but I am trying to show you the effect that it has, even if it is subconscious. Picture this response as a simple shrug and a smile, which means – These words have no emotional impact.
Here is the RIGHT way to say that compliment:
“I know most men can see you're a good looking woman, but I think your real beauty shows once you start to speak.”
Now that statement shows a woman that you see her and you get her true beauty.
NOTE: Compliments still have to be sincere, even if they are said in this manner
Now, I have an exercise for you so that you can truly understand how it feels to woman and have an empty compliment thrown in your direction.
Exercise:
Ask a stranger to compliment you for 30 seconds straight. Preferably a man. I know this seems tough but it's actually really fun. After, I want you to tell me how it felt to have empty, meaningless compliments thrown at you by another person. This is exactly how women feel when you compliment them for no reason!
I want you to try this experiment and tell me what you think, what you discovered and most importantly how you felt.
Looking for a step by step guide to attracting women?
Well, I have a tool that will take you from being ‘the nice guy' that never approaches the woman he wants, to being the man who can meet a woman and have her laughing, chasing you, and being completely in the mood.
It's called The How To Become A Man Women Want.
Click Here To Read More…
