I have been digging deeper into the question of Do Women Want Bad Boys and I have been getting tons of responses from men and women. I got a really interesting response from a woman named Sarah from the UK that I wanted to share with you.
Bad Boys vs. Chemistry
I wish I could say that chemistry is something that is a frequent visitor in my life. It's not. It has arrived, maybe half a dozen times, and it is becoming more rare as I grow older. Each time the man was highly desired by more than a few women.
The chemistry was always hot, and, fortunately, mutual. It happened within minutes of our meeting or observing each other. And it never went away – on my side, at least. Yet, none of these fledgling ‘relationships' ever lasted beyond a few days, weeks, or months.
Were they bad boys? As I look back now, I realize none of them were particularly honest, and all of them had a flock of females vying for their affections. These men were hot, and it had to do with their good looks, their smile, and their charisma. They were polished, sophisticated, and charming. It never occurred to me that they were bad, but then I'm not sure what people mean when they say women succumb to bad boys. I most certainly don't!
If they were bad, I didn't know it. How would I classify bad? For me, personally, it would mean someone who stole, was violent, broke the law, was perpetually drunk, abused people, and who sported all the other negative behavior patterns there are. But the term could also cover behavior that wasn't necessarily criminal, so much as socially dysfunctional and deceitful. For instance, would I consider a bad boy a man who simultaneously took out three women at the same time, pretended he was faithful to all of them, and increasingly messed them around by not pitching for dates or letting them down in other ways? Yes, I think I would.
Would I continue to date someone like this if there was no chemistry? The first time it happened would be the last time. Would I continue to date someone like this if there was heavy chemistry involved? Probably – but not for long. Would I continue to find them attractive despite dumping them? I am ashamed to say yes. But get this straight! I did not find them attractive because of their bad behavior! I didn't know about their bad behavior. I found them attractive as a result of their movie star good looks and their charismatic charm. Men who offend me upfront, regardless of good looks and chemistry, never get past hello.
This post was written by Sarah Lane from UK online dating site WeLoveDates.com. For more of Sarah's writing please visit the WeLoveDates blog.