The Friend Zone. It freaking sucks doesn't it? BUT it doesn't have to… NOT anymore.
In this article, one my favorite clients Michael is going to show you how to get out of the friend zone forever. Now that friend zone is no longer a problem for him, he asked if he could share his experience, his learnings and his process.
I of course said YES! Read on to find out how Michael learned to get out of the friend zone forever.
Confessions of a Friend Zone Addict
She Loves me………….I just know she does. Or she will anyway, as soon as she finds out that how Amazing I really am and that I am THE One who will always be here for her 24×7 no matter what, not like those other Guys that just keep on hurting her. Anything she needs!! How can she not see it? She will never find another like me, she’ll see!!
OK, Got to get some sleep cause I promised I would be at her place tomorrow at 7AM to Sand her Floors and babysit her Dog!!
OMG……………..Be Honest and tell me if that doesn’t sound the least bit familiar when the Woman of your Dreams has Friended you and you desperately try to find a way to change her mind and see how wonderful you think you are??
And Oh No….…..That pathetic creature above could NEVER be You right?? You could never be that kind of Doormat……not you for sure!!
Well, that’s Crap, pure and simple. Don’t even rationalize it and for the Love of God stop lying to yourself about it. And if you are already in that Friend Zone Hell You allowed yourself into, Yes it was You not Her, then you are already that Emotional Doormat to Her.
And how do I know this??? Because I was a Friend Zone Addict, being in that Zone from Love Interest to Love Interest never knowing how to escape…………Until now!!
And In my mind, with each Woman that I wanted, openly broadcasting my attraction to her would just petrify me to Death to try. I always assumed it would be Crash and Burn each and every time……….or Worse maybe?
So being in that Friend Zone at least let me be close to the situation. Totally Non-threatening right?? Send in my Attraction for her hidden in a Friendly Trojan Horse of Friendship? I mean who can reject someone who is a Nice guy right?
And once I possess that Special Friend status? I will be in the Sweet Spot on the inside and wait until she finally sees the Star that I am, finally see the light and be Mine! And what better way to show her what I can give her but to just…………..Give to her?? Over and over, showing her that I am the one who will be there in a Magical Heartbeat in whatever way she needs………even at 2 in the morning to hear about the latest Boyfriend just dumped her.
Excellent Plan that is Foolproof Right???
WRONG!!!!!
WRONG!!!!!
And Majorly Wrong Genius!!
And I mean you couldn’t be more wrong. Each and every time I would try this pathetic approach, it was the Kiss of Death and I was put even deeper into her “Friend Zone”. And that was before that term was ever coined. And the Flight Attendant on this dead end trip would always tell me to fasten my Seat Belt because it was going to be a long flight to No Where!!
And unless you get a grip on what’s happening behind your scenes of the Innocence you falsely project you will be doomed to live in that Zone Forever, just moving to different locations and never getting out because you don’t have a Map.
So here is the Map I used to break free from this never-ending Friend Zone loop that truly will never stop until you do.
USE The S.T.O.P Technique
- Use the S.T.O.P. Technique. And this truly is a BIG one……..As soon as you start to feel that feeling of Fear in the Pit of your stomach when you want to tell her your true feelings use this magical Acronym.
And it goes like this:
S – STOP……. Stop your chaotic mind……….Just make it stop. Whatever it takes just make it stop, even for just a few milliseconds. Freeze all the thoughts racing in your mind and mentally back off from the Heat to allow you to think instead of react.
T – THINK…….When you Stop your racing Mind and back away you gain the ability to truly gather your rational thoughts and think about what is actually happening Logistically in the moment..
O – OBSERVE……..With your World stopped, or at least slowed down, it puts you into an objective head-space of Clarity that allows you to truly observe Reality rather than the Subjective head-space where you can’t see the forest for the trees.
P – PROCEED…….With your mind stopped and objective, and thinking for a change instead of reacting out of Panic this allows you to proceed with a mindset of Clarity to grab onto the next steps.
Ask Yourself Who Am I?
2. Who am I??? I mean, who are you really inside?? And I don’t mean that nice person that you are going to present to her and perform the usual Fail. I mean figure out your Deep self-worth…….as a Man, as a Person, and as someone that she actually needs to know. Be honest with yourself, because if you can’t recognize and own all that great stuff within you then how is she ever going to see it as well and find you attractive enough to want to know more???
Get Confident
3. Instill your Own Self-Confidence – DUH?? Like this concept has never been mentioned before?? Then why is developing and having it show with every move you make so Damn Hard??
Let’s put it this way………..How can you see your own Value when you are constantly trying to make others see it first for acceptance?? You are the front line of seeing who you are, not the rest of the World. Grab a piece of paper and Honestly look deep within your mind and write down the things that you think are Amazing about yourself in one column.
Then in the other column write down those things that you want to be Amazing but you believe aren’t.
Acknowledge the first list and acknowledge how great you. Then with the other list of who you want to be, find ways to make it happen. You have an Amazing venue to do that in Point #7.
Who Want's Whom
4. Who Want’s Whom – When you are at that crucial Fork in the road between the 2 destinations of her being attracted and you being exiled to the Friend Zone, taking the road you want to is actually not as difficult as you think or have experienced. Think of it this way……..If you are constantly on your Knees praying to the Gods of Relationships that she will like you, then you may as well spray paint your forehead with just one word so she doesn’t misunderstand, and that word in Capital letters is……..PLEASE!!
If anyone thinks that is an attractive sight to any Woman and will just capture her interest please stop reading my words and GO!! Self-Confidence is the igniter of Interest to any Woman about you. Friend Zone dwellers put a Woman of Interest on a proverbial Pedestal hoping she will choose them and if she doesn’t they still say Please up. But with Amazing Self-Awareness and instilled Confidence you get to ask yourself the Question………..is it me who wants Her?
5. Don’t Care – Yeah that’s right. Don’t care……..And I mean really and sincerely don’t care about whether or not she says Yes, No, Maybe…….or even Whatever!!
Using the Self-Confidence I mentioned in knowing who you are, the Amazing qualities you have to offer, and to really know who you want in your life, will totally obliterate any desperation that always is viewed as weakness and lands you in that Bermuda Triangle each and every time.
The perceived indifference that is picked up by a Woman will be exuded with the desire to know more about what you are not showing as opposed to you dumping the Mother-load on her all at once leaving nothing else to wonder about.
6. Do I want to be her Friend?? – This one is is a BIG one trust me…….Crucial actually.
Think about the 2 words that make us shudder………FRIEND ZONE. The one meaning is more than obvious and is beaten to death right? But the first word in this scary phase is…………FRIEND.
Truly think about what a Friend actually is. Male or Female it really doesn’t matter what the gender is. So before accepting that one way ticket to this Zone you absolutely have to ask this Question……….Do I want to be her Friend?? And I mean her real Friend who doesn’t have the hidden aspirations of waiting until she falls for you.
A real Friend who does the same things for all of his Friends. Being a Friend with a hidden agenda is not a Friend………it is literally a Wolf in Sheep’s clothing who doesn’t have the courage to show who he really is. Walk your Talk and be who you are, announce your intentions so she see the real you.
Listen To Marni
7. Listen to Marni – And last, but certainly not least……..Listen to Marni.
And I mean, grab all that she has to say and teach in whatever resource she does it in, because her words and the words of the Amazing guests she introduces are all aimed at presenting techniques that instill that Self-Confidence needed to be able to offer a Woman something that is truly unique………and also offer to the World actually. And her Friend Zone advice is truly Legendary so listen to everything she says on it.
Because don’t forget that it’s not always about the getting the Girl??? There are things in her Videos, Readings, Podcasts etc. that you can use wherever you go and develop yourself into a Person that no one can truly not want to find out more about. Not only will Women pick up on this “New and Improved You” but so will everyone else. And if the rest of the World thinks this way then why wouldn’t that special One you meet??
So…………Make that Friend Zone choice yours, not hers. There is no such thing as a Victim in this scenario………..it’s always a Choice!!
Michael
CLICK HERE To Discover My Step-By-Step Method To Getting Out of The Friend Zone…And STAYING Out…So You Can Get AnyGirl You Want From Now On