Your emotions may be doing more harm than good when it comes to women. You may seem cold or uninterested and this is turning women away. If you think women are not interested in you or are blowing you off , you are doing the most harm to yourself. You need to think good thoughts and show that you are confident. You need to take control of your emotions and you will need to show confident.
I love drilling my clients about where they think they screwed up with a woman. Because in many cases, what they THINK happened… Is actually completely different from the reality of the situation.
For example, I was talking to a client, Chris, yesterday. He’d met a woman in a bookstore using the approaching guidelines I taught him. They’d been texting back and forth for a few days and arranged to meet up for a drink.
However, on the day they were supposed to meet, she texted him in the morning to say she wasn’t sure she could make it as something had come up. Now, this immediately got Chris’s emotions boiling a bit… as he was convinced she was trying to blow him off.
But they agreed to play things by ear and she’d text him later if she could make it. And he made back up plans to meet some friends in case she didn’t show. He then texted her while he was out asking if she was coming, and she said she’d let him know soon.
This got him fuming even a bit more.
However she texted him back (around the time she originally said she would) and asked what he was doing. He replied he was out with friends, and left it at that. And she told him to have a good night in that case.
So when I had him give me his perspective on all of this, he was convinced she just wanted validation and attention. And that she had no intention of meeting him. Which blew my mind.
Because that’s not how it came across to me AT ALL!
Instead, my first thought was the she legitimately had something come up. She wanted to see him, but was letting him know there was a chance she might not make it. But she said she would text him at a certain time to let him know.
Then when she texted him later to see if he was free, Chris told her he was busy with friends. So from her point of view, it would have seemed like he didn’t want to still meet up that night.
Now, the reason that I have a very different viewpoint of this than Chris did, is that I’m looking at it objectively. My emotions aren’t attached to anything that happened, the way that Chris’s were.
Once we discussed it more, it was clear that his past experiences with women and his self-esteem issues were the problem. He had negative beliefs that women weren’t really interested in him… and only wanted to waste his time… so that’s what he was projecting onto this situation, even though it wasn’t the case.
And Chris isn’t alone in doing this.
I see a lot of guys (and women too) who interpret scenarios a certain way to reinforce the beliefs they already have. For example, let’s say you’re at a party and notice a woman staring at you.
What’s the reason she’s staring? Well, if you have the belief that women only want tall guys and you’re shorter than average… you might think she’s staring at how short you are. But if you had the belief that you’re an awesome guy who women want to get to know… you’d probably think she was staring because she’s into you.
The situation is the same. It’s just your interpretation that’s different based on your beliefs.
So, how can you apply this for better success with women?
Anytime a woman does something that you take negatively, take a second to step back and process it. Could there be another alternative to the first conclusion you jumped to?
In the case of Chirs, he was immediately convinced that this woman was wanting validation and just wasting his time…
When another explanation was that she was simply busy. And if you assume the more positive reason, it’ll stop you from becoming emotionally reactive. (Hint: we’re not attracted to guys who are emotionally reactive.)
Really nailing down your beliefs about who you are as a man and the value you offer is incredibly important.
It’s one part of what makes you naturally attractive to women without even really trying.
The last female friend you’ll ever need,