Timing is everything, guys… especially when asking out a woman. Let me tell you what “too soon” and “too late” REALLY means, and how you can successfully hit the sweet spot right in between…
One of the biggest mistakes guys make with women is not asking us out when there’s an open window to do so. The conversation’s going great, we’re laughing and flirting, connecting on a deeper level… this means you’ve got a green light to pull the trigger and ask us out. But at the other end of the spectrum is a different problem. And this is when guys ask us out WAY to soon. Like before the conversation even has a chance to get going, they’re suggesting we get dinner or drinks together.
Let me tell you this:
From a woman’s point of view, this feels SUPER weird and makes us uncomfortable. Because why would you be asking out a complete stranger after only 30 seconds of talking to them? It makes us think you’re either desperate and just try this with every single woman…
Or you just view us as a sexual object you want to conquer, without caring about who we are as a person… since you literally don’t know the first thing about us yet. Aside from that, why would WE agree to go on a date with a guy who makes no attempt to talk and get to know us?
And while this happens regularly in real life situations… It’s 10 times as common on Tinder and other online dating apps and sites. Guys will send in screenshots of their conversations and ask, “Marni, why did she suddenly stop replying?” And I’ll see that literally the second message they send to her is something like… “Hey do you have plans for Saturday night? Let’s grab a drink.”
Many women won’t even bother to respond at that point… because they’ve already been scared off. It feels like you’re trying to pounce on us, like a hunter attacking his prey. Even if your intentions are good, you need to put yourself in our shoes and think about how it makes us feel. So slow down, take your time and actually engage us in a conversation so we can get to know each other a bit. Work in some banter and playful teasing to spark that initial attraction… And try to find some common ground we can connect over so we’ll feel like we have things to talk about if we do go out on a date together.
Plus, if we feel like you have some standards and want to evaluate a woman before rushing to ask her out… It’ll make us feel like you’re a man with options, which is so much more attractive than a guy who wants to take whatever he can get.
Now, I’m not suggesting you use this just as some kind of tactic.
Instead, it should be an authentic part of how you interact with women, based on your own self-worth. You’re a high value man. You don’t have time to go out with EVERY woman who piques your interest. You’re discerning about who you choose to let into your life. This is the attitude and mindset you want to have.
But it’s not coming from a place of arrogance. It’s just that you know you have a lot to offer and you expect the same from the women you date. When you carry yourself in this way and project that aura of confidence, it’s magnetically attractive to us. This is just part of what it means to be a man women want… and it’s the easiest way to have the dating and sex life you dream of.
If you want to discover the complete picture on how to effortlessly have this kind of magnetism with women, go ahead and check out How To Be A Man Women Want.
The last female friend you’ll ever need,
~Marni